Pressure can come from many sources. Society is one, your friends another. But what about yourself? The worst pressure comes from how you view yourself. Or where you think you should be in your life.
The worst part is, if you are anything like me, you are constantly comparing your life to those around you. For instance you have a friend the exact age as you, graduated from high school with you, married at the same time as you but there are minor differences.
Perhaps they own a house and you don’t. Perhaps they are constantly taking vacations and you don’t. So you start to wonder what you did wrong. Where did you take the wrong turn?
That’s when you start to put pressure on yourself to work harder, to save more. To just do more. But that is exhausting.
You have to let go of that kind of pressure and stress. It is unhealthy.
If you really think about it, you have no idea what is going on in other people’s lives. In the scenario that I described above you have no idea the financial situation your friend is in. Perhaps they are living pay check to pay check. Or maybe they a simply credit rich.
The point is you can’t compare yourself to others. It isn’t fair. To you or to your family. When you feel yourself veering off the path you should have some focusing skills on hand. Here are some tips I try to focus on.
- When you start to think that you should have more, because everyone else does.
- Solution option: Remember why you don’t have as much as others. DO NOT TELL YOURSELF IT IS BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE MONEY. You save your money for a rainy day, for the future. and because you know you don’t need a flashy car. This is the most important thing to remember: Don’t buy things you don’t need.
- When you see someone spending their money like water on things you dream about-like trips
- Solution options: Again think about why you are not blowing your money. The Government isn’t responsible for you when you get older. You are responsible for your own care. If something happens to you or to your partner (If you have one) then what? Are you going to use your nails, or designer clothing to help you keep warm when the lights go out? Oh and keeping up the neighbors is exhausting. Don’t you have other things to do?
- When you know the economy is in the dumps but everyone around is living like a rapper.
- Solution options: Again think about why you are on the plan you are on. Focus on what is right for your family. I’m gonna let you in on a secret. My family and I are moving back to France. In order for us to do that we have to get rid of a bunch of stuff (like DVD’s). So we decided not to buy unnecessary stuff anymore. Such as kick knacks. This is not easy. Especially when I see my friends buying cute things such as Scensy or Pampered Chef. When I feel myself going off the deep end I remember the end goal. The more that I buy now the less I’ll have when we get to France. and the more it will cost me to move. (End Goal here!)
Regardless of your situation you have to do what is best for you. It is perfectly ok to feel the way you do but understand that you don’t have to. If you have goals and dreams then you understand that those goals and dreams require some sacrifice and some dedication.
Remember those commercials where the girl sees a pair of expensive high heels that she wants to buy but she doesn’t because she dreams of owning a house one day. Well that is the same concept here.
I dream of living in France so I forgo things like more curtains cause I’m bored with the ones I have now or the latest greatest television because I have to have the newest things.
Having said that, just because you are dreaming of a better future doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do without now. Think of it as being on a diet.
For instance your current diet you decided to ditch sugar. So you don’t have anything with sugar day in and day out. One day you’re in line to check out at the grocery store and you see a candy bar. You want one, so you buy it.
Will one candy bar hurt your diet? No.
So if you have not bought yourself the latest jeans because the ones you have now are just fine and you are saving for that vacation to Hawaii but one day you decide that you have to have a pair. Look at your budget and discover that you can buy a pair. Then do it.
Don’t deny yourself just because you think you have to. That creates a monster! Then you come to the conclusion that you aren’t living and you end up blowing your entire savings. And then what? You have to start all over and you feel horrible about doing it.
So, my friends. Release the self imposed pressure you put on yourself to have the greatest things or to be just like those around you. It is not worth it. One day when you accomplished your goals you’ll look back at those people and you’ll see that your sacrifices were all worth it.
What are some ways you relieve self inflicted pressures? What are some of your triggers? Sound off in the comments or PM me!
Until Next Time!
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